What Women Really Want
Ah, the age-old question. I think I’ve gone a long way toward answering this, but I would
like to summarize it here:
The Kind of Man Women Want:
- Will make women think.
- Will make women feel excited, sexy, and turned-on rather than bored.
- Will prioritize his life and doesn’t let anyone walk over him.
- Will make her feel important to him
- Is not afraid to speak his opinion.
- Keeps them on their toes through challenge. (i.e., the Three S’s: Self-confidence,
Self-discipline, Sense of Humor)
- Holds and maintains an element of mystery. (More challenge through slow
disclosure)
- Is spontaneous.
- Gives them plenty of space and freedom, and keeps his own space.
- Is a lover, not her son.
- Is a Romeo, not a Fabio.
- Is chivalrous. (i.e., he’s confident enough to give a woman what she wants.)
Women need many things from a man. These needs are the currency of relationships,
and giving them to her allows her to build up enough in her account to give you what you want.
You’ve been confused most of your life about what women want because they always
seem to be saying one thing while meaning another. To them, however, this doesn’t seem weird
at all. It’s how they communicate things they don’t know even understand about themselves.
Women don’t talk in code; they are just talking from a different part of their brain than the part
that actually responds to men. When she says she wants a “nice guy,” she’s really saying that
she knows the emotional part of her brain – the part without a true verbal language – wants
someone 1) who won’t hurt her (trust) and 2) who is attractive to her, not a wimp who has
trouble deciding what to order from a menu. She knows what makes her trust, but not always
what makes her attracted to a man.
A woman’s emotional mind is like a subwoofer: all resonance and feeling, but very little
of the sound from it can actually be understood or is intelligible. They speak in an abstracted
and indirect way because there is no direct connection between these “speakers” in their brain.
Here, then, are the qualities that a woman wants in a relationship. (Remember: Now that
you know, you can’t claim ignorance anymore. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
_ Safety – Trust
o Emotionally stable
o Non-violent
o Good character (isn’t “sleeping around”)
_ Appreciation/Affection – to feel unique and special
o Gives massages/baths
o Treats her (on occasion) like royalty
o Cuddling
_ Drama/Intrigue
_ Drama/Intrigue
o Talk just to talk/Share drama
o Emotional charge
_ The Three S’s in a Man = Challenge
o Self-confidence
o Self-discipline
o Sense of humor
_ Consistent behavior (in a long-term mate)
_ Security
o Provides for her
o Loyal to her
_ Fun/Excitement
o Being different
_ Mystery
o Slow disclosure of information
_ Teases her and treats like another person, not a goddess
Women Want Sex
Up until the last twenty years or so, it was a commonly held misconception that women
were somehow frigid by nature and had no interest in sex. This fallacy was created by men who
thought that since a woman postpones sex, she only “gives it up” to get what she wants – a
faithful husband to provide for her.
Women want sex as much as men, they just have a different timetable and requirements
before they do. There has been a lot of sexual liberation for women, and even though there are
a lot of women that have occasional casual sex, they are still programmed since birth with the
fear of being labeled promiscuous. The label of “slut” is still a fundamental fear of almost all
women, and it’s probably the most damning of judgments a woman can feel is placed on her
value. To avoid thinking of herself as a slut, or “easy,” she manages her cognitive dissonance in
several ways:
- She will probably want to wait until at least the third date to sleep with you – and
that’s if things go very well. There is a certain American cultural norm accepted in
recent years that says that sex is generally acceptable (sometimes expected) on the
third date. Ultimately, though, when you have sex will be dictated by her level of trust
and attraction for you.
- She will be turned off by any overt verbal or physical sexual suggestions by you,
even when she wants sex and might like to talk a little trashy. In her mind, she wants
to maintain her ladylike persona, and you should not challenge this. Let her be the
one to bring up sexual topics.
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